My Pubs

Over the years I think it's fair to say I've had the odd drink or two in a fair old number of pubs, and this page is an attempt to list as many of them as I can remember, together with the occasional "review" or story connected to them. By nature it's going to be a work in progress for a long time and I'd guess it isn't ever going to be complete, since there's no possible way I'll remember them all, but I'll try to list at least all the ones I regularly drank/drink in with various choirs etc. Feel free to email me with any opinions, additions, corrections or extra detail.

Don't forget that sometimes it's been a LONG time and a lot of water's been passed since I've been in some of these places so what I describe tends to relate to how I remember they were way back then. All opinions expressed are my own. Please feel free to try even the ones I suggest against and see if you agree with me.

Latest Tally : About 167 pubs listed (I find it hard to count when I've been drinking, and I usually have been when I piss about updating this website!)

All links to external sites should open up in new windows, and don't forget I'm not responsible for anything on those sites.

Adam & Eve, Bishopgate, Norwich NR3 1RZ (map)

Adam & Eve, Norwich

This is one of the oldest pubs in Norwich, is just outside the Cathedral walls and was supposedly used by the workmen during one of the phases of the building of the Cathedral (which would have been some time between 1121 - 1369 I guess).

Although right next to a modern car park (not multi-storey thankfully) the outside wall is covered in flowers and it looks as though it's in the middle of the countryside. It sells decent food, real ale, and bowls of very nice olives.

I was there was in 1994 when the Marian Consort sang for a week in the Cathedral, and briefly in 1999 with Glasgow University Chapel Choir on a tour of Norfolk.

All Bar One, St Vincent Street, Glasgow G2 5TS (map)

All Bar One, Glasgow

At the end of the day this is a pretty boring city centre pub, but one of the good things about it is that it has huge floor to ceiling windows and it's right on the pavement of a really busy street so it's a good place to sit, drink, and people-watch. It gets pretty busy with straight-after-work people (as opposed to the ones who are gay-while-at-work I suppose!). A bit expensive, but it's the city centre after all. I was in here in November 2005 and the selection of beers was actually pretty good, including some Belgian fruit beers (like Kriek) and various decent lagers (Krusovice etc) all on draught. Since then I've been in a fair few times, and I can heartily recommend their food. Nice comfy sofas upstairs, and a good'ish view out the windows down to the street below.

For a bonus point of historical interest, across from the side of All Bar One is St Mary's Lane which is so called because it's where St Mary's Episcopal Church used to be before the good Victorians decided it's be a good idea to move to the growing west end of Glasgow. St Mary's church of course went on to become the Cathedral of the Diocese. Where I sing.

Unmistakeably part of the same chain as Hubbards in Great Western Road, this is a smallish bar tarted up to look authentically old, and it achieves the effect pretty well. Good real ale, but boringly ordinary yet kind of OK pub-food. Decent place to have a small refreshment while shopping in Byres Rd. I like it.

Taking its name from an old Scottish courting dance, this fine town house is attributed to Robert Adam. It portrays itself as authentically Scottish, but the last few times I've been in it felt a bit touristy for some reason I can't put my finger on.

Good food, if a bit on the expensive side, and they used to have traditional folk music jam-sessions but again, the last few times I've been in I haven't seen them. Good selection of real ales, including usually something unusual as a guest. There's a beer garden, but I don't recall ever seeing anyone sitting in it!

As the name may suggest, there's a baby grand piano in this small bar near Charing Cross in Glasgow.

Incongruously sited in a concrete square between a tower block housing a cheap hostel/hotel, a subterranean railway station, and some God-awful 1970's office blocks, I haven't been in for years but it certainly used to do good Sunday lunches and bar snacks.

St Mary's Cathedral choir used to drink here, but it was while I wasn't singing with them. I've been in once though but can't remember much except it was very small and crowded, and not terribly pleasant.

The Barleycorn, 1 Low Waters Rd, Hamilton ML3 7LG

The nearest pub to a branch of a plumbers merchant in which I worked from 1982 to about 1988. Not every one, but a lot of lunchtimes were spent in there. Ah, for the days when I didn't have to drive home from work!

And an update in February 2009: I rode past it a day or so ago and it's covered in metal shutters so appears to be closed down.

In the former home, built in 1874, of Colonel Black of The Cameronians Regiment, the Bentley is now a hotel with a small public bar. They seem to be connected to Lanarkshire Catering School (I suspect they might in fact be Lanarkshire Catering School) and this means that the food in the restaurant is at least partially, if not wholly, made by trainees. They do a decent Sunday roast though.

It's across the road from Motherwell Heritage Centre, a good venue for researching family tree stuff if you have ancestry from the area. Which I have.

The Big Blue, 445 Great Western Road, Glasgow G12 8HH (map)

This has to be a pretty unusual place for a bar. Situated inside one of the old railway arches almost underneath Kelvin Bridge in Glasgow (think "The Arches" garage in the BBC soap Eastenders) it surprisingly doesn't feel too claustrophobic inside. There are seats outside (see photo below) if you feel like braving the elements and the often noxious smell of the river. Good Italian food, as you would expect since it's owned by the same people who own Paperino's in Sauchiehall Street. And it's right next door to the best Fish & Chip shop in Glasgow. You just HAVE to try a Special Fish Supper from The Philadelphia. They are fantastic. Mmmmmmmm, arteries!

Black Bull Inn, Merry St, Motherwell ML1 1JP (map)

Now demolished, this traditional man's-pub was 200 yards from our house when I was approaching and turning 18 and I used to go there with my dad to play darts. The darts team were reasonably successful and I remember us winning at least one cup! Happy days!

Bon Accord, 153 North St, Glasgow G3 7DA (map)

Years ago you pretty well had two choices in Glasgow in relation to beer. Drink the pish which passes for Scottish Heavy, or go to the Bon Accord and drink Real Ale.

Fortunately times have changed, and you can now get a decent pint in most pubs, and the Bon Accord is still up there with the best of them, although it feels very like Hubbards and The Aragon inside decor-wise. I've been on the winning team in the weekly pub quiz here two or three times in the past, but I don't know if the quiz still happens.

And nowadays all Scottish Heavy is still complete pish, but there are some great Scottish Real Ales too.

Boswell Hotel, 27 Mansionhouse, Rd, Langside, Glasgow G41 3DN (map)

Known locally as The Country Club, this sprawling building with several bars, a decent beer garden and good real ale was sometimes used by Glasgow Chamber Choir after rehearsing in St Ninian's Church in Glasgow. Big selection of beers, and pretty good food too.

Quite passable studenty bar with a few big screen TVs for football watching (if you're into that sort of thing) and some comfy sofas. Decent Deuchar's IPA.

Went here when I was working in Dundee early in 2005, and it became a bit of a local, although it was a fair walk from the flat. One of my colleagues, every time we were walking towards it, always said "isn't this a gay bar?" Well, if it is we never caught anything off the seats, and were never gang raped in the toilets, so that was a narrow escape then! Fool.

Brandon Bar, 394 Brandon St, Motherwell ML1 1XA (map)

A basic man's-pub (or should that be basic-man's pub?) which was for a while my local. My mum and dad both used to work here too.

Pretty rough to be honest but when you're one of the regulars in a place like that, your parents work there, and every other regular knows you, then it's fine.

JD Wetherspoon bar in the centre of Motherwell in what used to be Bairds department store when I were a lad and used to walk past it twice a day enroute to school and back! I've been a few times with my dad at lunchtime and once to a colleague's leaving do on a Friday night. Big and spacious, but with sticky carpets. Usual Wetherspoon food and drink. I'd go in again, but would probably stick to lunchtimes as there are likely to be fewer bottles flying around, (by all accounts , although to be fair it was OK when I was in on the Friday!

Brel, 39 Ashton Lane, Glasgow G12 8SJ (map)

Waffles, chocolate, beer, the European Parliament and Jacques Brel the jazz musician - what else do you know about Belgium then? Update 16th March 2007 - A colleague told me today that Audrey Hepburn, although brought up in England, was born in Belgium. So there you go!

I've only ever been in here for a last beer or two after drinking elsewhere in Glasgow's west end, and it's always been full to bursting, and indeed overflowing into the lane outside. It's in an old barn or cowshed and the floor is still identifiable with its channels for taking the water/piss away, and the walls have those white tiles you might remember from primary school toilets! Well worth going in just to look at the architecture, but don't do it on a Friday night!

And in the interests of fairness, the Lonely Planet Website says: "Belgium's sluggish surface hides cultural schism and a passion for pleasure. If Belgium's spotlight on the European stage is a little dim, it's only because its people are rarely boastful. This slow-burning country has more history, art, food and architecture packed into its tiny self than many of its bigger, louder neighbours. A rich and bubbling vat of beer, chocolate, oil paint and bureaucrats, Belgium gives off the heady pong of the bourgeoisie. But stir the pot a little and you'll find an 'artificial state' roughly made up of two parts Germanic Flemings to one part Celtic-Latin Walloons."

So that's alright then, except I'm not so sure if I fancy sampling the heady pong of the Bourgeoisie, having dealt with the heady pong of the native Glasgow Jakey Bastard for three years when I was a Turnkey!

Bridge Hotel, Castle Square, Newcastle upon Tyne NE1 1RQ (map)

In my very brief sojourn with the choir of St John the Baptist, Newcastle upon Tyne, this is where they drank. Can't remember much about it other than it's a rambling place with several rooms. And it must sell Real Ale if a choir drank there!

A while back I discovered that it was designed by a famous architect, and for the life of me I can't remember his name! Oh well.

I would have walked straight past this basement bar unless my colleagues had pointed out the door! Modern decor, fairly spacious, and with Internet access on about 6 wall mounted PCs, we were only in here for one very quick drink so I can't really comment that much on how good it was. I'd go back though.

Burts Hotel, Market Sq, Melrose TD6 9PL (map)

I don't remember that much about Melrose, apart from the impressive Abbey and Burts Hotel's famous Sunday lunches. And all I can remember about them is that they are famous. Can't for the life of me describe what they were like, or whether it was Sunday Roast or Nut Roast (oh, alright then, it certainly wouldn't have been Nut Roast!)

The big island bar dominates this attractive Edinburgh pub where the walls are decorated with 19th-century Royal Doulton tiles featuring famous figures from history.

Carbeth Inn, Stockiemuir Road, Blanefield, Stirlingshire G63 9AY

The Carbeth Inn is an old coaching inn dating from 1816. It features in Sir Walter Scott's novel Rob Roy, as it was where Baillie Nicol Jarvie, a Glasgow magistrate, stayed when travelling to visit him. In the book it is the "halfway house", described as a "most miserable alehouse", but the last time I was in it it certainly wasn't miserable! The whole place has an "olde worlde" feel about it, and it has a good selection of real ales, beers, wines, liqueurs and single malts. At the front of the inn is a beer garden where you can sit and eye up the motorcycles parked there on most dry days, since this is a very popular venue for a break when out on a day's ride. The inn apparently has two restaurants, and the bar food is good.

Standing in the shadow of the Campsie Hills, though only twelve miles from the centre of Glasgow, this is a decent country pub and is well worth a visit or two, particularly on two (motorised) wheels.

Now called the Centre for Contemporary Arts, this place, a long time ago, used to be the Third Eye Centre. I can't actually remember which one it was called when Glasgow Chamber Choir used to have a glass of beer or two after rehearsing in St Aloysius church round the corner.

How sad am I? The main thing I remember is that they had the best ever alcohol-free beer. I seem to remember it was Furstenberg Frei, it came in large bottles and it actually tasted like beer!

After attending a concert by the Edinburgh Singers, I tagged along (as the friend of a former member who was with me) with the choir to their after-concert party here. They always apparently have a good knees-up after every concert, and lay on food too, so I was looking forward to it.

The party was fine, the pub was ordinary and pretty studenty. The food was very very very late in arriving, so much so that 3/4 of the choir members had buggered off elsewhere to eat by the time it arrived, and when it did arrive it consisted of huge plates of OK chips, and large plates of boring sandwiches containing not very appetising fillings.

Cleopatra's, Great Western Rd, Glasgow

Affectionately known as Clatty Pat's, this nightclub, right above Hubbard's and directly across from Coopers, has the obligatory sticky carpets and is apparently heaving with medical staff from various hospitals once a month on NHS pay day! I haven't been in for years and it'll stay that way for the foreseeable future thank you very much.

Update: It has changed its name to The Viper and moved the door from the side to the front (see photo), but there's no doubt everyone will still refer to it as Clatty Pat's, so that's how it'll stay on this site. And another thing. Apparently the bouncers are instructed to refuse entry to anyone who looks over 35. Tossers.

I have been in here precisely once. In the dim and distant past I was selected for jury duty on a murder trial at Glasgow High Court, just round the corner, and after the final day of the week long trial some of the jury members, myself included, adjourned here for a quiet drink to wind down. Can't really remember much about the pub, I had other things swirling around my head at the time. Had we come to the correct decision, for example. Well I still think we did reach the right verdict.

Coanes, 26 High Street, Johnstone, PA5 8AH (map)

This was technically my local from late 2003 until July 2006, but to be honest I've only been in it about 4 times! When we moved house in October 2003 I took a week of holiday and found myself in Coanes one afternoon. I was sufficiently impressed to send a text message to my closest mates saying something like "right now in pub, malt whiskies, real ales, sells mussels. Boys' night out anyone?" But the promised night out never materialised. Oh well.

They all blend into one after a while! I think this was a good one, warm and comfortable, with Timothy Taylor's Landlord beer.

After its original life as an old-style supermarket type place called "Coopers" (those of a certain age may recall subsequently "Coopers Fine Fare" which became "Safeway", which is now "Morrisons", I think), this building became a Mexican Bar called "Chimmy Chungas" and as such it featured in John Byrne's BBC drama series "Tutti Frutti" in 1987 as the workplace of the character played by Emma Thompson (with a passable Glasgow accent!). This was the series which Robbie Coltrane (pictured left) apparently credits with launching his career, and in it he played the lead character "Big Jazza". The series was about The Majestics, Scotland's "Kings of Rock" and it also starred Richard Wilson (later of "One Foot in the Grave" fame as Eddie Clockerty.

It then became for a long time Bar Oz, a very ordinary chain-pub with an Australian theme, and its current name presumably harks back to its original incarnation. Circle of Life and all that!

The Corinthian, 191 Ingram Street, Glasgow G1 1DQ (map)

This is the former Lanarkshire House which was Glasgow's Sheriff Court building until a new one was built south of the river.

Very expensive drink, fairly exclusive clientele (or at least it attracts the sort of pretentious poser who is happy to pay the outrageous prices), and exceptionally good architecture.

Counting House, 67-71 Reform St, Dundee DD1 1SP

When I worked in Dundee temporarily between March and July 2005 this was my default pub. Pretty bog-standard JD Wetherspoon place, but it fitted the bill fine. Some pretty rough chaps drank there some nights though!

Counting House, 2 St Vincent Place, 24 George Square, Glasgow G1 2EU

Converted bank overlooking George Square right in the centre of Glasgow. Reasonably priced good selection of real ale, as you would expect from JD Wetherspoon, but it's a barn of a place with very little atmosphere. Worth going into to look at the architecture though.

This was for a while a regular venue for Glasgow Chamber Choir when they rehearsed in nearby Strathclyde University, and is, I believe, currently the venue for Glasgow Renaissance Singers (or Cathures as they are now bizarrely known) after their rehearsals in Strathclyde University. I was one of the original members of GRS, and indeed GCC.

The County, 70 High St, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne NE3 1HB

One of the regular pubs for both the church and chamber choirs of All Saints, Gosforth when I sang with them.

On the sadly all-too-rare occasions when I manage to get back to Newcastle and see old friends, this is where we tend to meet up.

Picturesque is a word which might have been coined to describe this pub and the photo doesn't do it justice. Go see it yourself, and try some of the Real Ales, Malt Whiskies and good food too.

If you travel from Arrochar towards Inveraray, after you pass Rest and be Thankful and go down the other side the next road on your left will be signposted for Dunoon. If you take this road you will eventually pass the Coylet. Or from the other direction head out of Dunoon (always a good idea!) past Holy Loch.

Pretty old building (1850's) in need of a bit of repair. Good beer though. And the Newcastle Kingsmen Rapper Dance team practices here upstairs on a Wednesday night.

One of the oldest buildings on Byres Rd, but not one of the best pubs. Very ordinary in fact. Architecturally however, the building stands out from those around it as being obviously much older.

Not terribly well placed, but to be fair the building does predate the horrible one-way system (which is actually two-way again, now that I think about it!) and underpass. This was where the good people met to discuss the foundation of an Episcopal Church in Motherwell, in the late 19th century so presumably it wasn't as rough-as-a-badger's like it is now! From the Episcopal Church Website: "Holy Trinity had it origins in a meeting held in the Dalzell Arms Hotel on April 25th 1882 to consider the possibility of starting a Mission in Motherwell in connection with the Episcopal Church in Scotland. A congregation gathered and services were held in Mrs Keith's schoolroom until, in June 1884, a corrugated iron church was opened. This building is now the church hall. A building committee entered into negotiations with the Duke of Hamilton for a building site, and the foundation stone of the present church was laid on 29th September 1894. The new church, built in red stone and dedicated to the Holy Trinity on September 28th 1895 is Early English in style. The building was consecrated on November 21st 1896."

On reflection, I guess it was maybe a previous incarnation of the Dalziel Arms in which the meeting was held!

As an aside, the original corrugated iron church referred to is now the church hall

as seen in the photo (left), and they've applied for planning permission to knock it down and build flats!

Doublet, 74 Park Rd, Glasgow (map)

Former regular drinking place of the choir of St Mary's Cathedral in the 1980's. Very small. Quite crowded, and used to be fairly smoky, although smoking is now banned in all Scottish pubs so that won't be a problem now.

Now I don't say things like this lightly, but this pub served the BEST burger I have ever eaten in a pub or restaurant. And it was two for the price of one!

Four of us went here in August 2006, which was towards the end of my temporary period of working in Stirling, and it was all in all a very good place to have lunch. Pretty well right in the centre of Stirling, just round the corner from the Thistle Shopping Centre, it's a modern interior with quite a few plasma screens on the walls, but no outrageously loud music, which was a blessing. The screen nearest us was actually tuned to BBC News 24, although since the volume was muted it would have been nice to have had subtitles displayed.

I can't comment on the beer, we were in at lunchtime and it would be a bad thing to drink during working hours (although I was the bad lad who ordered a pint of lager - I was leaving after all!). So four meals, 3 soft drinks and a pint of lager, all for just over sixteen quid. And both of us who had the burger agreed that it was very nice indeed.

Went there once with a colleague. A couple asked us if they could sit down at our table (it wasn't all that busy) and we said yes. They lit up cigarettes and blew the smoke in our direction. We left and went to Braes, just down the road a bit. Five minutes later they came in too, and asked if they could sit at our table. We left sharpish! Freaks.

Famous pub right next to the far north of Loch Lomond. Good food, but very busy on Sunday lunchtimes.

The last time I was in it was apparently being renovated so we ended up sitting in a freezing cold large back room with the ceiling almost falling about us! That was a while back though.

A bit poncy for me, but big, light and airy with a (concrete) beer garden outside with uncomfy plastic furniture made to look like real comfy sofas! Very arty, funnily enough.

This is where in conversation with a colleague one evening after our 15 hour shift had ended I discovered that he lives in a cottage owned by, and rented cheaply from, the Queen because he worked for her (in direct daily contact with her apparently) for several years.

Eagle Inn, 180 Bellshill Rd, Motherwell ML1 3SG

A LONG time ago this was owned, or at least managed, by an ex St Mirren, Glasgow Rangers and Scotland footballer called Willie Telfer and at that time my mum and dad worked there behind the bar. This was probably round about 1966/67 or thereabouts and I can still remember going in there after finishing primary school for the day to wait on mum or dad to finish their shift and take me home! So I suppose technically this was probably the first pub I was ever a regular in!

The pub is situated right next to a main railway line and near to a shunting yard so was frequented by many rail workers and there's a story I remember (probably apocryphal but you never know, this was the 1960's) whereby a couple of them in uniform came into the pub and sat for a while while they had a couple of pints each. Eventually they left and another rail worker sitting nearby said that it was about time they had gone, and when asked why he explained that the pair had left a train full of passengers on the line just behind the pub while they came in for a drink!

Old inn, first opened in 1597 apparently, in the middle of Broughty Ferry with some seats outside on the pavement. Very low ceiling, even for a shortarse like me, I seem to remember.

Big but quite reasonably nice pub at the busy Charing Cross end of Sauchiehall Street. Used to be very busy on a Friday with the after work crowd, but then a new place opened up nearby and became the new fashion so Edwards is a lot quieter. O Tempore, O Mores! I had my stag night partly in here and partly in The Hengler's Circus across the road.

For those of you of a certain vintage, this is right next door (and I mean RIGHT next door) to the Tyne Tees Studio where The Tube used to be filmed in the 1980's, so apparently some of the biggest names in the 1980's UK music industry have propped up the bar at one time or another.

Nice looking pub with, strangely enough, an Egyptian theme! Decent Deuchars IPA. And the Sallyport Sword Dancers sometimes practice here if they can't get into the Cumberland Arms.

Electric Bar, 291 Airbles Rd, Motherwell ML1 2AW

Happy memories of being in sixth year at Dalziel High School in Motherwell, and having various free periods during the week. Often my mate Dougie Johnstone and I used to take advantage of the good weather and lack of supervision (we were old enough to be trusted - ha!) when our free periods coincided to take off our blazers and ties and leave them in the sixth year common room, and wander across the Duchess of Hamilton Park to the other side where lay ......... heaven!

We used to brazenly stroll into the Electric Bar and have a beer or two and a game of darts or pool, before casually sauntering back the way we came in time to get properly dressed for our next lessons. We thought we were being completely covert by removing our blazers and ties, but this left us wearing black shoes, grey trousers and grey shirts and when I look back on it I cringe to realise we must have been so bloody obviously Dalziel pupils! But they served us anyway!

The Electric is still the unofficial Dalziel Former Pupils pub and the last time I briefly went there, enroute to a 40th birthday party for a former school mate, I walked in and at least half a dozen people sitting at the bar were instantly recognisable as being contemporaries of mine at school who hadn't quite escaped the clutches of the Electric. I swear they hadn't moved off the bar stools since 1980! And yes, it is as boring a building as the photo suggests!

Update: I've just finished reading Margrave of the Marshes, the biography of John Peel, and apparently he visited here, took part in the music quiz, and got royally pissed when visiting a friend in Motherwell. I have since mentioned this to people who still drink there and they knew nothing of it. You'd think they'd have a plaque up or something! Or at least use the connection as a bit of free publicity.

Exchequer, 59 Dumbarton Road, Glasgow G11 6PD

Former Sunday lunchtime venue of some members of the choir of St Mary's Cathedral. Glasgow Chamber Choir also sometimes drank here when we rehearsed in the chapel of the Western Infirmary across the road. Now too studenty by half, but I suppose that's OK if you're a student!

Update: I drove past it a while back and it was actually called something like The Clinic, presumably because it's across from the Western Infirmary, but it was closed even though it was during normal drinking hours although it has since reopened as a night club called BoHo. Thanks to Wullie Davidson for emailing me and giving me a jag to update that!

Three am. Sticky carpets. Shite beer. Loud music. Local fuckwits obviously spoiling for a fight, but apparently too shit scared to start anything with the particular crowd who'd just come in. Last night of my secondment to Dundee. Never again. Enough said!

The social club attached to Motherwell FC's stadium. I've only been in it twice, I think, years ago, and it was what you'd expect a social club to look like. I know a few folk who go there (one of whom reminded me that it was missing from this site - thanks Jim) so maybe it's OK now, but probably not.

Cosy local bar with decent real ale and a beer garden (with real grass, not concrete!).

Decent beer, but was outrageously smoky. The subsequent smoking ban will have sorted that out though.

Smoky, noisy, and by far the worst of the three pubs I was in when in Lichfield for the wedding of two friends in August 2006.

Just 2 minutes walk along from the cathedral. I've heard it's more geared to the restaurant bit o

f it nowadays, but it used to sell great real ale, real cider (including one called "Rat"!) and lovely bar food.

One of my favourite pubs (or at least the way I remember it, is one of my favourite pubs!).

A famous pub in Renfrewshire which has its own brewery (The Houston Brewery) attached. Built in 1780, this former coaching inn has a deserved reputation for good beer and good food. Their website claims that "modern comfort is subtly blended into the interior to ensure the olde world atmosphere is preserved throughout the three bars and restaurant, the Fox & Hounds is: "The Pub with today's comfort and the atmosphere of bygone days"."

Well I was in it for the first time a year or so ago and I can vouch for the standard of the food (and beer!) but the claim about it having today's comfort must have been written in the 1970's! The restaurant felt a bit like an old Bed & Breakfast dining room and they managed to squeeze six of us onto a table for four by the simple expedient of adding two extra place settings to one end of the table. Not at all cramped or anything! Friendly enough service, I suppose, but not very efficient or fast.

Been in here just once at a leaving do. Not too bad but fairly ordinary. Going back again soon for another leaving do (March 2007). I'll see if it's changed.

Update: I didn't go to that leaving do, because I ruptured my Achilles Tendon in the middle of March and was on crutches and off work for 3 months!

Drove past this a while ago and suddenly remembered I've been in it a few times years ago when it was called something completely different but for the life of me I can't remember what! I think it might have been an Australian themed pub but I could be wrong, and "The Outback" rings a bell.

For the uninitiated, the Scottish word Gallus means something like "full of oneself".

Update 1st July 2006: Thanks to Archie Grossart for emailing me to say he used to live just next door to this pub in the 70's when it was called Reid's of Pertyck (yes, Pertyck, that's the right spelling). I had forgotten that, but after Archie's email I remembered that this was what it was called when I moved to Glasgow in the early 80's. And Archie reckons he's been in all the Glasgow pubs listed here. We obviously share good taste! Cheers Archie.

Update 23rd February 2007: Thanks to Wullie Davidson for emailing to tell me that after being Reid's this place had three incarnations, as The West End Bar, then Zoo, then Solid Rock West, before becoming Gallus.

Garvie's Lounge Bar, 2 Elphinstone St, Kincardine on Forth, FK10 4RH

The quiz and Karaoke nights in Garvie's are legendary! Or maybe there's just not all that much else to do in Kincardine.

Just down the road from my hotel and enroute to the Cathedral, this pub proved to be the find of the weekend.

On various occasions a small Glasgow contingent in Lichfield attending a wedding was in there and on the Friday night we played darts (it is a long time since I played!) and were fed sandwiches by the local darts team who had been playing a match. On the Saturday after the wedding (strange things English weddings. You attend the service, then sometimes are given drinks, then usually are told to bugger off. In Scotland the practice is there is pretty well ALWAYS an evening reception with dancing and drinking. Anyway, I digress), a slightly larger Glasgow contingent went in after the "drinkies at the Palace" part of the wedding. Of course, this time three of us Scottish chaps were being devils in skirts and as soon as we walked in the front door, whoops of delight came from a crowd of women in the public bar!

Within a few minutes one of the males from the bar came through to the lounge to pass the message that our presence was required next door. Being good sports the three of us went through and posed for photos with the nice drunk ladies. It is a strange yet wonderfully erotic feeling being groped by strangers, although I rather guess that if we three guys had been asking the ladies to show us what they had under their skirts, then had tried to find out for ourselves (not just tried, succeeded I have to confess!) then questions may have been required to be answered later under caution down at the station! As it was, I for one rather enjoyed it! And for the avoidance of doubt if anyone is wondering if anything is worn under the kilt - no, it's all in perfect working order!

Anyway the pub. If you're in Lichfield, go there. It's good. It has good beer. And the staff and clientele are very friendly (even before we wore kilts!)

Visit Inveraray. Do it. It's a very picturesque wee town on the shores of Loch Fyne in Argyll and is well worth a visit.

The George Hotel building in the main street dates back some 220 years or so and it became a hotel in 1860. The room we stayed in (Room 12) during a visit in March 2006 to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary is one of the 5 master bedrooms, all of which feature some sort of combination of antique furniture, king-sized beds, Jacuzzi baths and oil paintings. A digression and pause while an elderly anorak is donned: Although advertised as such, they probably aren't in fact Jacuzzi baths since that name only applies to baths made by that company (a bit like Hoover = vacuum cleaner), but are probably in fact merely generic spa or whirlpool baths. Our room didn't have that sort of bath so I don't know for certain. OK, I'm removing my anorak now. Back to the review.

Very comfortable bar with a lovely warm open fire. Big range of whisky behind the bar, but disappointingly only one real ale, albeit Deuchars IPA which is one of my favourites. Now, I have a broad Glaswegian accent although I can, and do, moderate it quite easily to make myself understood (having spent a few years living and working in Newcastle upon Tyne, and many years holidaying all over England), but it took several attempts to make the barman understand the words "IPA" then "Deuchars". Slightly strange since presumably they sell a reasonable amount of it, and I was also pointing at the handpump!

We ate in the conservatory part of the bar, and for the most part we were the only ones in there. The menu is the same as the one in the bar but the surroundings are a wee bit nicer, and the atmosphere is certainly less polluted with cigarette smoke, although from tomorrow (as I type this) at 0600hrs the law changes in Scotland so that there will be no smoking allowed in public places which notably and, not unsurprisingly, controversially, includes pubs.

Our starters were really nice (Crispy Duck in Hoi Sin sauce with Spring Onion, and Chicken Liver Paté on Garlic Bread with Red Onion and Cumberland Sauce - you MUST try Cumberland Sauce, it's spicy and lovely) and my main course was a perfectly adequate Sirloin Steak (cooked as is the norm a bit less than what was asked for, i.e. I asked for medium, and I got medium rare, but I expected this as it seems standard in restaurants), but my wife's main course (fish and chips) not only looked boringly anaemic (which could have been easily alleviated by some peas on the plate) but was greasier than a very greasy thing from grease land, and was to all intents and purposes inedible. As much as the fish was greasy, the chips were dry but not in that lovely crunchy way. A long time ago (25 years if you must know) I was shown how chips should be fried when I worked very briefly for a neighbour driving his chip van around a (very rough) housing estate in Lanarkshire. Chips should be crispy on the outside and soft and fluffy inside. I'm not a rocket surgeon, you just need the fat at the right temperature, and the George Hotel failed. To their credit, when they collected the plates and asked if everything was OK and we said no, the fish was very greasy, they did take the price of it off the bill (of which more anon ...).

And so to breakfast. Slow service, but that was OK because so often you get rushed, and the food was nice but very greasy. Is there a pattern emerging here? You must remember of course that to put all this greasiness in context, I was brought up in the west of Scotland and will happily cook for myself fried eggs, fried bacon, fried sausages etc etc, but this was a hotel and usually the level of grease in professionally prepared food is considerably less than I'd accept from my own cooking. The coffee was lovely and strong though. Kept me awake all day!

And so to checking out. The normally perfunctory (is that a real word?) check of the bill revealed that there was a small discrepancy. Small, but on a point of principal, important. The £6.95 for the greasy fish had been taken off the voucher I'd signed the night before, but the total on the main bill was something like £10 or thereabouts more than it should have been, but the figure bore no resemblance to £6.95 and the receptionist (who I suspect was actually the manager/owner) couldn't work out what had happened (including a comment that "you've been given a £6.95 discount off your meal for some reason" to which I replied loudly, in deliberate full hearing of the growing queue behind us also waiting to check out "no it was because the fish wasn't very good at all and the staff offered to take the price of it off the bill". She then tried to suggest that the price had been taken off already, but when I stood my ground and showed that the price on the main bill (which had separated the food & wine elements) didn't match the voucher I'd signed, she eventually just recalculated it and we went away happy. I don't think they were trying to rip us off or anything, they were just inefficient. Probably.

Anyway, the summary. Well worth a visit but avoid the fish! And if you do visit the town be sure and visit Inveraray Jail.

Sunday Lunch - Rack of Lamb and gravy made with Jennings beer. Worth going just for that, but there's also the good real ale and authentic atmosphere of antiquity in this original coaching inn!

Roughty-toughty place just south of the river not that far from Glasgow Sheriff Court. I've been in it once, a LONG time ago, with the darts team of the Black Bull in Motherwell to play against their team in a cup match. Can't remember what the result was. It was owned or managed, at that time anyway, by a guy who played darts for Scotland. Can't remember his name. Can't remember much about it at all really, but only enough to be sure I'll never be in it again!

Decent pub near where my former sister-in-law and her boyfriend used to live. Good real ale.

Gosforth Hotel, Salters Rd, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne NE3 1DH (map)

One of the two regular pubs for the church and chamber choirs of All Saints, Gosforth when I sang with them. This was the more regular one.

The scurrilous (and no longer funny) magazine Viz was first written in here, since this is where the bunch of students used to meet and drink and produce cartoons originally for circulation amongst themselves.

I couldn't find a more up to date photo but I'll correct that next time I'm in Newcastle. It hasn't really changed much anyway.

Straight across from Newcastle railway station. Strange place. But I suppose it's the theme!

Gowdoc, 372 Great Western Rd, Glasgow G4 9HT

I believe it got its name originally from the owners, the Gows and the Dochertys.

In 1983, when I joined the choir of St Mary's Cathedral in Glasgow, this is where we drank after rehearsals and services. A right dive I seem to remember, although I've recently seen it described on a Glasgow Discussion Website as a "good old Glasgow bar - sadly missed" by an expat who has obviously had a memory bypass! I remember being in there wearing a tee shirt which advertised a new Tennents beer (it might have been Tennents Special) and had the slogan "I think you'll like it" on the front. While I was standing two deep at the bar waiting to be served having just come out of choir practice, a complete stranger standing in front of me turned round, looked at the tee shirt and said to me "I don't!". I said "Don't what?" and he said "I don't like it, so what are you going to do about it? It's out of order wearing a Tennents shirt in a (whatever the brewers were who owned this place at the time) pub!" I was kind of lost for an answer until the bar manager, who was a decent guy and knew we were the Cathedral Choir, told the aggressor to leave me alone. I think we moved elsewhere to drink after that!

This pub subsequently changed to become Bilko's, although I don't think I was ever in it during that time, and then it fairly quickly closed and lay derelict for ages before being resurrected as Oblomov, then became The Junkyard Dog and is now a Bier Halle Republic. When it opened as Oblomov they must have taken over the unit next door too because it's easily twice the size the Gowdoc was, and you can still see where the two units used to be separate, with the present bar being in the old Gowdoc half.

Traditional bar near Charing Cross in Glasgow. Only been in once or twice, and I think it has real ale, but I can't really remember. Near Pitt St, so it's frequented by a lot of police. Heard recently that it has other bars attached, one being the Griffinette which is allegedly a gay pub. I think. I might have got that wrong. I was told it in a pub after eleventeen pints.

I spent a day in New Register House in January 2006 researching my family tree, and nearly went into this bar afterwards because it's right next door, at the east end of Princes St. Instead I went into the Burger King nearby because it was 4.30pm and I literally hadn't eaten anything at all that day (a cancelled train from Glasgow, followed by road works holding up the bus meant I was 2 hours late in arriving and wanted to get as much value for my £17 day pass as possible so I didn't have time to eat!).

Anyway, that was then, but in February 2006 I managed to go into the pub, and very nice it is too, with some good beer. We also met a huge bear of a man who was loud, brash and claimed to have been a stuntman on the film Gladiator. He didn't tell us his name, but I overheard one of his friends call him Gordon, and lo and behold there is a Gordon Smith listed as one of the stuntmen on that film! Can't find a photo of him though so I can't confirm it's definitely the same guy.

Very old and interesting pub in the middle of Salisbury. There's even a mummified hand in the wall.

The first record of the Haunch of Venison is circa 1320 when the building was used to house craftsmen working on the Cathedral spire. At this time Minster Street had open running sewers, so entrance to the property was at the back of the building facing the Church. St Thomas’s Church had significant interest in the Haunch in the early years, even during the 14th Century when the property was reputedly a brothel and to save any embarrassment to local and visiting clergy a tunnel was built between the church and the tavern. The current layout of floors reflects this ecclesiastical link as the many different levels were to accommodate the hierarchical structure of the Church. The so called House of Lords situated on the upper ground floor was built to accommodate higher clergy orders.

Many references over the past two hundred years can be found concerning the haunting of the Haunch of Venison. Visitors often comment on feeling strangely cold in certain parts of the building and staff regularly are frustrated when items are moved or hidden, only to reappear a few weeks later. It is thought that there are two wandering spirits: the Grey Lady, who is searching for her child; and the Demented Whist Player who is tormented by the loss of his hand, severed in a card game due to cheating. In the House of Lords is a mummified hand discovered in the 19th Century, which may have belonged to the ghost.

When the heating system was changed in the Choristers part of the Cathedral the tiles were used in the bar to create a unique floor. The Bar has some other unique features, for example the pewter bar top, which is believed to be the last complete bar top of its kind in England and the original gravity-fed spirit taps. In addition to the House of Lords, the Bar has a small intimate “Horsebox”. This small bar was originally for ladies to use and reputedly was used by Churchill and Eisenhower during the planning of the D- Day landings. On the first floor is the newly restored restaurant ‘one’, which carries on the long tradition of providing food to visitors. The original restaurant was created when a merchant’s house was incorporated during the 16th Century. In the main dining room is a working fireplace dating back to 1588. There is an additional private bar which has the only licensed landing in England and where the famous ghost is usually seen.

So there you have it. And it sells good beer and has a big selection of Malt Whisky. So go there.

Situated opposite Haymarket railway station and relatively close to Murrayfield Stadium, the Haymarket Bar is a particularly popular bar during rugby internationals.

The building itself is in the late Georgian or early Victorian style and was apparently established in 1938. The name ‘Haymarket’ first appears on a map in 1812 but the area was also referred to as ‘Hayweights’ as there was a market and weighing machine which was originally on the west side of the junction but moved south when the railway arrived. When the Edinburgh and Glasgow railway line was opened in 1842, the Haymarket was originally at the end of the line since it didn't continue through to Waverley until later that century.

Just outside the pub on the Haymarket junction stands the Haymarket Clock, which is a unique memorial to the Heart of Midlothian football team of 1914. That year, Hearts were hotly tipped to win the Scottish cup, but with the outbreak of the war and patriotism sweeping the country, the entire first team signed up - the only football team to join the volunteer army en masse.

The photo on the right from 1958 shows the Regal Cinema which was the Glasgow

flagship of John Maxwell's Associated British Cinemas. It was built on the site of the Waldorf Palais dance hall in Sauchiehall Street, which had been the home of Hengler's Circus 1904-1927 (info courtesy of The Glasgow Story).

I don't think the current JD Wetherspoon pub of that name is on the same site, looking at the 1958 image I have my doubts, and the posting below seems to confirm that it's in fact at the opposite end of Sauchiehall Street! The history of the circus is reasonably interesting, and I have pinched the following from a posting on a bulletin board by a gentleman by the name of John Turner who seems very knowledgeable, so I hope he doesn't mind. John's posting is in reply to one from someone involved in converting the original building who asked:

"I am currently involved in converting the former Henglers Circus in Sauchiehall St, Glasgow into a live music venue.
I am trying to find out as much about the history of the building as possible, there are so many stories of shows with water tanks, even polar bears and elephants have been said to have performed there.....
I would love to find any old photographs, show posters etc to perhaps include in the decor of the interior. If anyone can point me in the right directions, it would be much appreciated"

"Hengler's Grand Cirque Variete was in Glasgow from 1861. The first building was at 100 West Nile Street, the old Prince's Theatre Royal, which opened in 1862 until 1885. The next building, of brick and stone, was opened in 1867, at 79-85 Wellington Street. The third and last building was built by Albert Hengler (1862-1937), the son of the great Charles Hengler (1820-1887), at 32 Sauchiehall Street. This opened on 8th december 1904 and closed for the last time on 30th December 1924. There is a booklet 'Hengler's Circus; a history and celebration 1847-1924', by Sean Mccarthy (Third Eye Centre, Glasgow, 1981) which you will find in your Central Mitchell Library. This library should have a collection of old circus playbills for you to search. I have photocopies of many of Hengler's circus playbills but often in poor condition. Albert Hengler wrote a series of articles for the Glasgow 'Sunday Post, in 1927, which you should find interesting. I am delighted that you are so interested in the history of your building, which I failed to locate a couple of years ago! Some of the original circus building brick work, on the exterior, was said to exist only a few years ago. When I approached Wetherspoon's about their Hengler's Circus pub in Glasgow a few years ago they didn't even respond to my letter. Apart form the name there is no trace of Hengler's in their pub as far as I could see! I would be happy to help you in any way I can to preserve the name of Hengler in Glasgow. The family of Albert Hengler lived there at one time. There are many stories to tell and illustrate, including the famous 'water spectacles' mentioned elsewhere on this website. All Hengler's circuses, in the 19th century and later, had stabling and other accomodation for animals."

This is a famous Glasgow bar and it's often said that it's one of the finest in the city. I can't see it myself. Maybe it's the karaoke upstairs. Allegedly the longest horseshoe shaped bar in existence. I haven't really got that much to say about it!

It's across from a lap dancing club, if that floats your boat (which it doesn't for me).

Hubbards, 508 Great Western Road, Glasgow G12 8EL

Former regular pub of the choir of St Mary's Cathedral. Used to do good pies and a selection of good real ale. Probably still does actually. Directly under Clatty Pat's and straight across from Coopers.

Was taken into Hudson's by a good friend at the start of March 2008. She used to live in Edinburgh and used this relatively new bar as a bit of a local for a time. The bar is part of the Hudson Hotel and I think it was opened around 2006.

Situated in the former Hope Street Post Office building, the decor is actually quite interesting inside, with rough bare brick walls contrasting and complementing the contemporary furniture. It's apparently based on New York loft apartment style, which links in with the name too I guess.

Decent (and pretty quick) food, and a limited choice of Real Ale from what I noticed. Exceptionally handy for the end of Princes St (where the shops are!) and surprisingly quiet considering it was early Saturday evening in such a central location.

It's across the road from Ryan's Bar and I'd certainly say choose Hudson's over Ryan's every time. I'll be back there without a doubt.

Jack Daniel's Lounge, Glencairn St, Motherwell ML1 1TT

Crappy shithole 100 yards from where I used to live a huge number of years ago. Been in it once, at a wedding reception (the actual reception was absolutely fine, I must add!).

The crowds of probably unemployed, in fact quite possibly unemployable, dobbers who used to drink there seemed to take great delight in making as much noise as possible when they left at dark o'clock in the morning when I was trying to get some sleep before getting up early for work, where I earned money to pay tax to support the pricks who drank here.

Town centre pub where I had the occasional refreshment on a Saturday lunchtime after finishing a morning shift at the plumbers merchant in which I worked. It was near the railway station, and I can only think that that's the only reason I used it! Can't remember much except it was big and dark inside.

Jinty McGuinty's, 23 Ashton Lane, Glasgow G12 8SJ

Finishing an early shift (0600hrs - 1400hrs), getting on an underground train to Hillhead, buying a newspaper, buying Guinness in Jinty's, and sitting outside watching the world go by. This is pretty well all I miss about working shifts, apart from the 20% shift allowance I was paid of course!

As you might tell from the picture, it's a popular place and rightly so. It's also straight across from the Ashoka Ashton Lane Indian Restaurant (literally just outside the picture on the right hand side) so I've lost count how many times a quick drink in Jinty's has led to a quick unplanned curry in the Ashoka, entirely due to the smell coming from the kitchens!

Junkyard Dog, (Formerly The Gowdoc, Bilko's and Oblomov) 372-374 Great Western Rd, Glasgow G4 9HT

This was until recently the default regular local for the choir of St Mary's Cathedral. You can just see the cathedral tower/spire 100 yards past the pub, just after the lamp post and the little group of people.

When I bought a copy of Microsoft Money a while back, I discovered that when you download the statements from your bank the program tries to add categories to your transactions. For example, when it sees that a payee was "Shell Garages" it automatically puts the transaction into the "Car Fuel" category. I discovered that on the few occasions when I had used my Debit card in this pub MS Money had assigned the transactions to "Pet Care". I couldn't believe just how much our two cats were costing us!

Latest: The Junkyard Dog has closed! The management decided not to renew their lease and it closed on 3rd Dec 2006 and was promptly renovated into some Bier Halle Republic studenty-type crappy place. Tried it the day after it reopened and they charged me £4.20 for a pint of Kronenbourg Blanc which had been about £2.90 in The Dog. That's the only £4.20 they'll ever get from me. Robbing bastards. So now the Cathedral Choir are back using The Lansdowne again. La plus ça change ..........!

Strange place for reasons I can't work out, but a big beer garden (with actual grass and everything!), albeit down about 200 steps from the bar! The best plan is to buy the first round when you get there and pass the bar on the way outside to the garden, then send someone else the trek back upstairs for the subsequent ones!

The Lansdowne (formerly La Taverna, formerly The Ragamuffin), 7a Lansdowne Crescent, Glasgow G20 6NQ

Former long-time home of the choir of St Mary's Cathedral, and now the default regular drinking den again. There are dozens of stories about this place, some of which might be added in due course! In particular I have stories about rats, pizzas, Joanna Lumley the night before her wedding, tropical fish, cockroaches and live music, amongst others! And for the avoidance of law-suits, none of the vermin stories relate to the present incarnation/management of

the pub!

What I will say just now though is that although the food in here is generally good, the chef seems to suit himself what hours he works. They advertise food served until 10pm, but usually when we go in on a Thursday (about 9.15pm) he's already fucked off home because "he wasn't busy", and on a Sunday we're in there about 7.45pm to find the same story. After several pointed complaints to the manager, the situation has improved a little bit on a Sunday evening, but not really on a Thursday and to be honest they're losing money over it, because usually there are a fair few of us there!

I always think this pub is slightly strangely situated now that this part of Sauchiehall St is pedestrianised. I've only ever been in it during the day, usually on a Saturday, when they often have live Big Band music. The music's great, the beer is ordinary as far as I remember.

Liquid Ship, 171 Great Western Rd, Glasgow G4 9AW

Exceptionally rare occasional venue for the choir of St Mary's Cathedral when we can be arsed walking a bit further than normal. Serves good Caledonian IPA. The bar food is exceptionally poncy in a wanky Tapas fashion.

I have to say I don't like it at all, but for reasons I can't quite put into words. Usually too busy, can't get a seat, I don't know. Something not quite right about it.

One good thing though is that there's no TV so it's a good choice on football match evenings, because it's quiet.

Lloyd's No 1, 151 West George Street, Glasgow G2 2JJ

Far too busy. Far too loud. Far too rough. Don't go there. No, really, don't.

Lock 27, 1100 Crow Rd, Glasgow G13 1JT (map)

Unique (for Glasgow) canal-side pub which quite frankly isn't worth going to unless it's a very warm summer day and you've got one of the outside tables.

This place is connected to the Grosvenor Cinema in Ashton Lane, and in fact if you imagine taking a cinema hall and slicing it in two horizontally, then putting a new mezzanine floor with a bar in the top part next to the ceiling, that's what seems to have been done here! You can just about see the top of what looks like the old screen against the far wall when you're inside, although you can't see it in the photo. The cinema's still there but I haven't worked out what the refurbishment actually involved so I haven't worked out the internal geography of it yet.

Busy busy place of an early after-work evening, particularly on a Friday. Nice balcony outside at the front to stand and drink, if you can get a space and if it isn't pissing with rain.

Update: Due to a fire around February/March 2008 this place and one or two others nearby were badly damaged and I'd guess will be closed for a while.

The Lord Darnley, Albert Drive, Pollokshields, Glasgow

A long number of years ago when I was in Decantus, the relatively short lived Diocesan choir of Glasgow and Galloway, we rehearsed in St Ninian's Church and drank afterwards in the Lord Darnley. I went in again a year or two ago with some members of Glasgow Renaissance Singers when we had been rehearsing for a concert nearby and it was much rougher than a very rough thing from roughland which has been roughened up by a rough rasp!

It now seems to be closed down and a posh looking cafe type place has opened up.

The photo is from the BBC Website and relates to a story from December 2002 when a former barmaid kindly gave TB to some of the regulars, two of whom then died of the disease.

On the subject of Decantus rehearsals, being but a youngster at the time I travelled there all the way from deepest darkest Lanarkshire by way of a very good friend of mine who happened to be a fireman. We always had a cup of tea at a break halfway through a rehearsal and due to the antiquated facilities someone always filled a kettle and put it onto a low heat on the gas cooker at the start so that it would be ready by the break. One evening Douglas, my fireman mate, had just come off shift before collecting me in Motherwell and driving us both to the south side of Glasgow. After singing for about an hour, someone remarked that they thought they could smell smoke, and in reply someone suddenly shouted "my God! I forgot the kettle's on!" at which point several people jumped up and ran through to the kitchen to sort it. Douglas, still in uniform, just sat quietly next to me as everyone else panicked and ran about like headless chickens. I turned to him and asked "shouldn't you do something, it's your line of work isn't it?" to which he replied "naw, I'm off duty, they'll cope!". He remains to this day a very laid back man! And while I'm on about Douglas, I should pay tribute to him because he's the person who first of all got my brother to join Holy Trinity church choir, followed a wee while later by yours truly aged about 13 (Jesus, I've been singing in choirs for over 32 years!) and he thereafter dragged me along to various choirs such as Decantus, Ayr Choral Union and the Comyn Choir in East Kilbride, which gave me a taste for it. The biggest thing he did for me though was to persuade me to join the choir of St Mary's Cathedral in 1983 when Bernard Porter had just taken over as choirmaster, and that was the start of my real choir education. Thanks Dougie, without you a big part of my life would never have happened!

Didn't like this place at all. Too busy maybe? Too loud? Unfriendly (but not in an aggressive way) clientele? Yes, a bit of all of them probably.

Situated right next to the runway of Dundee airport, you might think this is the worst place for a pub, but in fact most of the aircraft using the airport are fairly small so takeoffs and landings tend to be interesting diversions rather than noisy scary interruptions.

OK, fair enough it's a Hungry Horse restaurant so is exceptionally child friendly, but don't let that stop you as long as the weather is good enough for you to be at one of the tables outside and therefore well away from the little bastards!

A LONG time ago, for my sins, I used to play the side drum in an accordion band. We used to rehearse in the hall above this pub, and occasionally I'd go in there, not to drink really because I was only about 12 at the time, but to hand back the key for the hall as I was passing. Don't go there. It's a dive. Or at least it was 30 odd years ago!

Situated at the west end of Princes St very near Frasers department store, this little bar is almost certainly one of the best in the area. Traditional man's drinking den with a very interesting ceiling. Good Real Ale and A LOT of whiskies. Definitely try it.

It's very near Ryan's Bar and Hudson's Bar. Try Hudson's & Mathers, if you can only fit in two out the three!

It's a social club. It's exactly what you'd expect. My grandparents used to drink (and work) there.

According to The List this place, which opened just before Christmas 2004, is not just another trendy venture, and the self-styled sake cocktail bar has entertainment and DJs performing nightly with food being served up to 8pm every day except Sunday. They think it is hard to see how it could be improved and although there may only be four white and four red wines to choose between, there are six champagne options. Says The List.

I can think of a way it could be improved. Don't ask everyone to start finishing off their drinks at ten to eight on a Friday night because the whole place is booked for a private party at eight o'clock. And it isn't just another trendy venture, it's wanky too!

Motherwell Point, 21 Muir St, Motherwell ML1 1BH

Used to be known as Centre Focus, and before that .... well I can't remember the name but that was when I used to occasionally go in there for a beer. I remember being in once with a former school mate, and we were sitting chatting at a table next to the fruit machine which was being played by a complete stranger who ...... well let's be kind and suggest that he was fairly normal for Motherwell. A young lady who had been standing drinking at the bar made her way across the floor past our table and out the front door, followed intently by the eyes of the guy playing the fruit machine who had interrupted his frantic feeding of cash into the machine to watch, no, stare at, the girl. As she left the bar he turned to look at us and said "see her?", we replied "yes", to which he replied "I've shagged her!". Well what can one say to such a revelation from a complete stranger? Well done? Congratulations? We just nodded sagely and continued drinking. Pure class.

It was a bar. It served Pakora. All sorts of Pakora. Chicken. Vegetable. Fish. Sausage. Black Pudding. Haggis. Probably Ice Cream too. Interesting concept! Closed down now, and is a pub called The Goat apparently. Very Masonic!

It would appear that this might now be called Chutney's which appears to be an Indian restaurant which shares the same address. I drove past it recently and all I could see was the sign for Chutneys. I was wracking my brain trying to remember what it used to be called when it was a pub and I used to go there, when lo and behold I found references on t'InterWeb to the Newarthill Inn at the same address and that definitely rings a bell. Can't find a current reference on www.bt.com so it may have changed to Chutney's recently.

So why did I used to go there? I used to work in a branch of a Plumbers' Merchant in Hamilton and one of my colleagues, a very nice young lad, was linked to it as his father owned it, so some of us used to go there on various evenings. I seem to remember it was a nice wee local pub with an upstairs function suite.

There's a sad story relating to my colleague and his dad, unfortunately. They lived a few miles from the pub in a bit of a countryside area and they kept racing pigeons. A bird of prey had been plaguing them for ages by eating some of the racing pigeons. One afternoon my colleague's dad and a bloke who worked sometimes in the pub and did some "handyman" type work for the family were working on a car repair or something at the house when they saw the bird of prey circling above. My colleague's dad decided to get rid of it once and for all and ran to get his (unlicensed) shotgun from the house. He was taking ages to return and the handyman decided to run towards the house to see what was keeping him, just as my colleague's dad came running out the house carrying the shotgun which he was loading as he ran. And he tripped. And the handyman, a young man with a wife and children, was shot dead. My colleague, who was in the habit of regularly going home at lunchtime, arrived a few minutes later with some other colleagues (not me thankfully). Not pleasant.

Another interesting and thankfully slightly less gruesome story concerns my colleague. He was in the habit of drinking a lot of Barr's Irn Bru every day (multiple bottles I seem to remember) which is a sugary sweet carbonated soft drink. I met him a couple of years later, when he was still in his twenties, and he had lost all of his teeth by then and had false ones.

I have very happy memories of this place from the year I sang for a week in Salisbury Cathedral at the RSCM course (1991 I think) and we drank most nights in this non-smoking pub with the lovely beer garden.

Cut to 2005 and the choir of St Mary's Cathedral are spending a week singing in Salisbury Cathedral. On the first day we finish Evensong and in groups of 3 or 4 we head towards this famous bar. OK we find it's no longer non-smoking, but that's OK, we go into the beer garden with our pints and some menus. Again separately in groups of 2 or 3 (we are individuals after all!) we make our way to the bar to order food. Now I was one of the first to order so had no problems, but pretty soon we were getting varying amounts of abuse from a female who I presume is either the licensee or the manager along the lines of "if there were that many of you wanting to eat you should have phoned and booked" (there were probably a total of 12 people looking for food). It was pointed out to her that we were a visiting choir who were there for the week and who WERE going to drink and eat out somewhere every night, her establishment being the favourite candidate so far to receive our money. No, she was having none of it, she continued to give us grief for having the audacity to have come into her pub to order food off the freely available menus. Fuck that, we all thought. We're off elsewhere for the rest of the week. And so we did. QED. So I would suggest that you don't go there. The barmaid was very pleasant, but the management was an arse. And the ironic thing is that the food's actually quite good!

October, Unit 54, Princes Square, Buchanan St, Glasgow G1 3JN

This bar is on the top floor of Princes Square, an upmarket shopping mall in Glasgow city centre. I've had a drink in here only once, after completing a training course in about 1997. The only other memory I have of it is that it is the location of a very sad incident when a young man, having that day been accepted onto a university course, celebrated too much with his friends and decided it would be a good idea to slide down the banister. He fell from the top floor into the stair well and was killed instantly. Very nasty, and very very sad.

Described as North Shields' best kept secret, this seems like a very nice little pub with good real ale and free soup!

It's an O'Neills. It sells Guinness. It was the closest bar to where I worked in Dundee for a few months in 2005 so we often ended up going there, for some obscure reason.

It's an O'Neills. It sells Guinness. It's a particularly big one and lots of work leaving nights are held here. Not too bad actually.

It's an O'Neills. It sells Guinness. Small and usually busy from what I remember. Ordinary.

Òran Mór, Top of Byres Rd, Glasgow G12 8QX (yes, really, that's how they list their address on their website!).

The name is Gaelic and means the "great melody of life" or "big song" and it's in a converted church just across from Glasgow's Botanic Gardens. It has a beer garden outside, overlooking Byres Rd, and inside it's been very nicely and sympathetically converted, although to be honest I've only been in once and that was to the ground floor bar. It's a bit pricey, but it is the heart of the west end. I probably wouldn't choose to go in too often, but would be happy enough if someone else asked to meet there. It sells real ale, but doesn't sell any crisps nuts or other snacks.

As well as a pub, it's an arts venue too, and has what is apparently a very good auditorium.

Come to think of it, I have also been in the basement which is a nightclub. Don't ask!

Next to Jordanhill railway station, this place is firmly stuck in the 1980's. The nearest pub to a church where a mate of mine is the organist, I went in here once when I arrived too early for a service where I was one of those augmenting their choir. One Guinness swiftly necked and out again. Not worth going into ever again!

Update, Christmas 2005: I've been told by a friend that it's now louder and crapper than it used to be, but presumably not any bigger!

A Highland home-from-home. This is where all the teuchters drink and I understand (or rather don't!) that they speak Gaelic in here.

Apparently now known as Harvey's, this certainly used to be a scary place on the very few occasions when I ventured inside, usually to meet a colleague from work who sometimes drank there.

Of historical interest is that the cottage where the explorer David Livingstone was born is about 100 metres along the road from here, so presumably this was his local when he wasn't off finding Africa and stuff!

Pennan is a tiny fishing village on the east coast of Scotland. It was used as the location of the 1983 film "Local Hero" in which it was known by the fictional name of Furness, although the story was supposed to be about a villa

ge on the west coast. The road down to the front is incredibly and alarmingly steep but, once your heart has left your mouth and returned to its normal position, it's a very attractive wee place consisting of one street (see photo right). In September 2005 the Film came out top in a critics poll for the best use of locations in Britain.

The pub is quite nice, but I've only been in it once and we took our drinks outside so I can't remember much about the interior. Good place to visit if you're a film buff. Which I'm not.

Pewter Pot, 392 North Woodside Rd, Glasgow, G20 6NF

Former local of the choir of St Mary's Cathedral. Very rough (the bar that is, not the choir, although......).

Twenty yards further along, on the other side of the road, is North Woodside Mission Hall wherein the Boys' Brigade was founded on Thursday 4th October 1883 (see photo below right).

As an aside, the BB's Website states that their object is "The advancement of Christ's kingdom among Boys and the promotion of habits of Obedience, Reverence, Discipline, Self-respect and all that tends towards a true Christian manliness." You can't beat a bit of manliness!

Update March 2008: After a particularly last minute search for a pub where we could have a drink and a seat together late'ish on a Saturday evening after performing in a concert, several Glasgow Chamber Choir members went into the Pewter Pot which was fairly quiet until the karaoke started. Not too shabby inside, but it's not exactly a posh west end bar!

It was in 1996, I think, that I ventured inside Pissarro's once or twice when spending a few days (which turned out to stretch to over a week, for various reasons) visiting a very close friend who had moved from Glasgow to the Kew area of London near to this wine bar. Can't remember that much about the place to be honest as I had other much more important things on my mind at that time, which was during a particularly bleak part of my life. Thankfully all that was a long time ago!

I think the bar was OK, actually. Named after the French impressionist painter Camille Pissarro, who lived in a house at 10 Kew Green in 1892.

The image is a self portrait of the painter. I couldn't find an image of the wine bar.

Large, fairly newish, glass construction on the quayside right next to the Gateshead Millennium Bridge. Looks a bit dated now that the rest of the quayside has caught up, but

when it was new it looked fantastic. And you can (or certainly used to be able to) drink outside next to the river, albeit in a standing-up-on-a-slabbed-patio sort of way.

It wasn't called The Poacher's Pocket when I used to go there, but until recently I couldn't remember the name, which I now recall as the Crowley Hotel (reminded by the photo I found).

It's 1989 and we've just moved down to the north east of England from Glasgow and are settling into our rented accommodation. We decide to sample the local hostelry, and only a five minute walk up the hill is this place. Can't remember much about it except it was where I was (briefly) amazed to hear someone for the first time ask for "a pint of Scotch". Jesus, these people are heavy drinkers I might have thought, before realising as I watched the barman that Scotch is a north east beer! Possibly the equivalent of Scottish Heavy (i.e. cooking beer, to be avoided at all costs).

I can't believe I'd never been in this place! Office Christmas night out, 9th December 2005. We ended up in here, with its original traditional architectural features, and A LOT of whisky! With the atmosphere and character, it is easy to believe that the polished wooden floor, dark red leather seating, wood panelling and dusky pink-painted walls hung with sepia pictures, haven’t changed much since the place opened in 1835. It’s certainly a Glasgow legend, having been run from 1870 to 1981 by several generations of the McCall family. The bar extends all the way along one wall and houses over 300 malt whiskies as well as a good selection of real ales, with at least a couple of quality cask ales changing twice a week, but apparently there's always McEwan’s 80/- and Caledonian Deuchars IPA. Every couple of months whisky tastings are held and the £50 ticket price sounds good value, given the fact that £6,000 worth of whisky can be drunk in one night. I'm told the food is very simple, typical pub staples of baked potatoes, baguettes, homemade soup, steaks, burgers, steak and ale pies, and liver and onions, but is served all day, so might be worth noting just for that. The photo is from their Website and shows the (at that time) Shadow Scottish First Minister visiting the pub.

Former primary school converted into a reasonable real ale pub, and originally called The Hogshead, but now named after its original incarnation.

Bizarrely one of my mates went to school here and I believe it's a bit of a mind-fuck to be drinking in the old assembly hall!

One hot and sunny day several years ago, a crowd of us from a choir, probably Glasgow Chamber Choir, went in one Thursday evening for a drink after rehearsal. Bearing in mind the fact that it was specifically a real ale pub and usually had a selection of half a dozen or so, the conversation with the barmaid went along the lines of:

What'll you have?
6 pints of IPA please
We've run out
OK, Caledonian 80/- then
Sorry, we've none left
Golden Promise?
Afraid not
Landlord?
Sorry, no
OK, what real ale do you have then?
None actually, we've run out of them all!
OK, we'll have 6 pints of lager then
Sorry, we've run out of lager ........

After that exchange, somewhat reminiscent of Monty Python's Cheese Shop sketch, for some reason we stopped going there for a while!

It's got a big, well, playground really, outside with tables and a recently constructed a 64 seater glass-roof-covered outdoor smoking annexe.

A few minutes walk from Lichfield Cathedral (but then again so is everywhere in this smallish city) this is apparently where the Cathedral Choir drink. They sell bread and cheese, and while it may sound strange to mention that fact I am told that it's VERY good cheese!

Having gone down to Lichfield for the Saturday wedding of two friends, Tina and Richard (Richard is the webmaster of the Cathedral Lay Clerks Pub site), I found myself there on the Friday late afternoon and suddenly realising that other friends from Glasgow and Cambridge weren't due to arrive until after 9pm, I decided to go for a wander around on my own. To my surprise I discovered that the Cathedral was still open after 5pm and I went in for a look around only to find Tina and Richard in the middle of the rehearsal for the wedding. Tina spotted me there so I had to hang around until they'd finished otherwise it might have seemed rude not to say hello.

The entire wedding party were going to the pub afterwards and I was invited to join them for a pint. So there we were standing on the pavement outside the front door enjoying some nice beer when Richard's mobile phone rang. It was another friend from Glasgow who said something like "I've arrived but I can't find the Cathedral, the place looks awfully small for a city, and all the signs are spelled wrongly". Yes folks, there are two places with very similar sounding names in England. We were in Lichfield in Staffordshire, just north of Birmingham, and Lorna was in Litchfield in Hampshire, some 120 miles further south. She must have driven past the signs on the M6 for Lichfield enroute to this tiny village! Needless to say we didn't take the piss much! To her credit she took it in good part.

The Metro Centre is the largest shopping and leisure centre in Europe. Their Website says that the Queen Vic, which is near the indoor theme park called MetroLand, is a traditional style hostelry incorporating a friendly family atmosphere in comfortable surroundings.

I thought this was called Scotland's Bar, because that's what I've always heard it referred to as, but thanks to some research conducted by a friend who until recently worked near there, I now know the true details. Thanks Louise. This is a tiny tiny bar which is basically just the front two rooms of someone's house! There's room for about three people standing at the bar, and there are two old bus seats round a small table. I believe there's another room too but I've never been in.

Working man's pub in the centre of Motherwell. Been in a few times now, and the lunch menu is actually quite good. Proper Steak Pie and overboiled veg. Very tasty.

Turns out my grandfather used to drink here, according to my dad. Seems to be a big Glasgow Celtic affiliated pub these days but not overbearingly so, although in common with most "football" pubs I wouldn't like to try it while wearing the wrong colours on a match day!

They've recently opened an impressive (slabbed) beer (i.e. smoking) garden out the back, with a lot of seating and a couple of wide screen TVs.

The Rock, 205 Hyndland Road, Glasgow G12 9HE

Former drinking den of Glasgow Chamber Choir when we rehearsed in St Bride's Church just along the road. A long time ago Hyndland used to be "dry" and The Rock was built 5 yards outside the boundary! It's now got a beer garden of sorts - tables outside the front door!

At the corner of Crow Rd and Dumbarton Rd, this was the nearest pub to where I used to live in Partick. The classiness of the area can be seen in the photo where someone has dumped an old mattress on the pavement!

I used to work with a staunch Celtic supporter and when I moved to Partick he suggested I try what he described as a great pub nearby. Of course I was only half listening and when several weeks later I decided to go for a pint I couldn't quite remember the name of the bar he'd mentioned but I was sure it was this one, so I went inside and the first thing I thought was odd, given the footballing persuasion of the guy who'd recommended it, was the big screen rerun of a Rangers football game which was blaring away in the corner. The second thing I noticed was the display of signed Rangers Jerseys all framed and pinned to the wall. When I asked for a bag of crisps with my pint the barman asked me what flavour I'd like, and I told him I didn't mind. As he then handed me a bag he said the immortal line "I'll give you Salt and Vinegar then, 'cos the bag's blue". I gulped down my lager, threw the crisps down my throat and left. When I next saw my colleague I expressed surprise that he, a devout fan of the famous Hoops, had suggested I go into such a Rangers pub I discovered, yes you're way ahead of me, that the actual one he recommended was 500 yards further along! I have never set foot in the Rosevale since then, and in fact fairly quickly I realised exactly what sort of place it is because it always has several cops stationed outside it on match days.

Looks kind of strange from the outside, with its pretend wooden cladding a bit reminiscent of the Wild West (of America, not Glasgow), and the Website's just weird! Quite decent All Day breakfasts, in a traditional Scottish "heart attack on a plate" manner.

Just across from the, frankly much better, Hudson's Bar and HP Mather, I have been into Ryan's Bar a couple of times when colleagues from our Eastern office are leaving and decide to have drinkies here.

A bit loud and a bit busy, usually we have started off here and migrated elsewhere after a couple of drinks.

Handily placed for Princes St and quite easy to get to by coach or train from Glasgow (especially coach).

Right next to Haymarket railway station, this Grade A listed building is a decent bar but has always been very busy any time I've been in.

When I sang with the Marian Consort for a week in Edinburgh in 1995, there was a member of the choir who shall remain nameless (mostly because I can't remember his name) who had spent some time in Edinburgh a long time previously as a student. He had a habit of mumbling and was quite difficult to understand sometimes, but all we managed to understand most of the time was "Hrrrhhrrgghh Ryries Hgghhhrrrgghh, not the same, Hggrrhhgghh" so presumably it wasn't as good as it used to be.

If you're rich and like expensive (delicious) malt whisky, join them. If you're not keen on poor customer service, don't join them.

Been in it once, at the end of a short pub crawl. Quite nice, and a good view overlooking the water.

Converted barn with a fairly upmarket restaurant attached. Theakston's Old Peculier and lovely Sunday lunches. Mmmmmm.

This is the place wherein I discovered that Old Peculier gives me a headache. Nothing strange about that you might think, except it gives me a headache before I finish even half of the pint. Must be something in the chemical make up of it, but thankfully it's the only one which does it to me. And I've spelled the name of the beer correctly, in case you're wondering!

Apparently long gone, I can find no trace of it on t'InterWeb and when recently I drove past where I thought it was I didn't see it. Dalziel High School 6th year leavers dance 1980. This was the venue. Presumably not held in Motherwell so that the teachers who were there could turn a blind eye to those of us still under 18 but drinking (not me, I was 18) without risking being spotted turning said blind eye by any parents! Very forgettable. It appears it may have been named after some horse race at Lanark called the Silver Bell.

Right. Newarthill. It's an urban conurbation near Motherwell (my home town) It's a pit. Sorry, I obviously mean a Pit Town. I believe it's the constituency of Rt Hon Dr John "Oh fuck, it's health" Reid MP, former Secretary of State for Health, former Secretary of State for Defence and former Home Secretary. It's also famed for being the birthplace of Sir Robert McAlpine, known as Concrete Bob, whose grandfather was also the great great grandfather of my gran's second husband (the man I always knew and still regard as papa since my "blood" grandfather died two years before I was born so I never knew him). My papa was Sir Robert McAlpine's first cousin twice removed.

Anyway, the Silverburn. Way back in the mists of time I associated with a bunch of ne'er-do-wells in a band originally called The VDU's, then called Cocktail Party or something similar, I forget. I was originally a roadie, driving a van full of equipment and group members to gigs, and mucking in with setting up the equipment on stage before they played, and loading the van on my own at the end while the group enjoyed an after-gig fluid replacement session, then driving a van full of equipment and boozed-up musicians home afterwards. I then graduated to doing some sound mixing for them. They were OK actually, but broke up after a short time. They played a few gigs in the Silverburn, and it's where I had my 21st birthday party, with the band playing at it and me doing the mixing. Happy days.

So I haven't been in The Silverburn for, oh dear, 26 years now. It was an ordinary 1980s hotel at the time and I guess it's likely to be an ordinary 1980's hotel now.

Silver Tassie, 165 Almada St, Hamilton ML3 0ET

After rehearsing somewhere near here (probably St Mary's Church in Hamilton) for a long-forgotten service or concert, a few of us went in here for a quick drink and we were ALL asked our ages, which as it happened ranged from about 25 - 45! (In the unlikely event anyone outwith the UK is reading this, the legal limit for drinking alcohol in a pub is 18).

You can almost smell the mothballs! Or that's what it was like the last time I was in, but it's now called the Bastille Taverne and has presumably been refurbished. They don't seem to have got rid of all the wonderful wood panelling though, so that's OK. I have a particular soft spot for this place because it's where my grandfather, who died before I was born, used to regularly have lunch when he was working as a travelling salesman.

I went to someone's leaving party there one night, and at the end of the evening I was happy to leave!

State Bar, 148, Holland St, Glasgow G2 4NG

One of the after-work venues for the fine upstanding people who work in Strathclyde Police Headquarters in Pitt Street, apparently! I don't think you actually have to show a warrant card to get in .....

Station Bar, 55 Port Dundas Road, Glasgow G4 0HF

As well as the normal run-of-the-mill drinking man, at any one time this bar is full of a mixture of police officers, firemen, ambulance crew, opera singers, and orchestral players, all dressed according to their employment, since it's situated near a police office, fire station, ambulance depot and the Theatre Royal and it's used by everyone as they finish work! Good real ale.

For a short time this was a regular drinking place of Glasgow Renaissance Singers when we rehearsed up the road at the Scottish Opera rehearsal facility.

Converted railway station near the centre of Paisley. Very-slightly-above-the-ordinary bar food, but I have just read some terrible reviews on a Paisley Pubs website, and it's a while since I've been in, so who knows what it's like just now.

Famous for its food. Been in there once with a group of half a dozen enroute to a wedding reception. Everything on the menu seemed to be drizzled with, or coated in, or dipped in, or served with Gremolata. We asked the waitress what this stuff was, and all she could come up with was "it's green". We had been looking forward to the meal because of this place's reputation, but to be honest it was boring, pretentious and ordinary (but not cheap).

So anyway, if you want to make your own gremolata, and do something with it, you'll need 1 heaped tbsp capers, drained; 2 large handfuls of flat-leaf parsley, roughly chopped ; 1 lemon, grated zest only; 8 green olives, pitted; olive oil; salt & pepper. Place the capers, parsley, lemon zest, olives, about 2 tbsp olive oil and plenty of salt and pepper in a pestle and mortar, then pound to a rough paste. Alternatively, blitz briefly in a small food processor, or finely chop the capers, parsley, lemon zest and olives together, then mix with the oil and seasoning. You could for example spread the gremolata over the top of some nice salmon fillets (approximately 200g/7oz each, skinned) and sit them on a baking tray brushed with a little oil to stop the salmon sticking. Place them under a grill for 7-8 minutes until just cooked through. Then eat them.

The Tap, 1055 Sauchiehall St, Glasgow G3 7UD (map)

Pretty ordinary bar from my recollection, but it's across the road from the newly renovated Kelvingrove Art Gallery and so the view is impressive. I think they had live music, and they sold real ale (as the name would suggest, although they are nowhere near a brewery!).

It's been a while since I've been there.

Overlooks the river Cam and from the window you can watch the stunts of the cunts on the punts!

My local when I lived in Morpeth for a few years, this pub is 99.9% responsible for getting me onto real ale!

Having lived in the town for a few months and having had the odd pint in various pubs, this was the first place in which anyone took the trouble to actually start a conversation so it became the local. It was the first genuine "local" I'd had and I've never found anywhere to rival it for atmosphere etc, so there's never been anywhere else since then that I could really class as being "my" pub.

Margot, the landlady, works absolute wonders with food cooked in a tiny kitchen.

Not bad Irish bar in North Shields. Not much to say really. The first word is pronounced teach.

Three Judges, 141 Dumbarton Rd, Glasgow

Superb selection of real ales, and you MUST try their pork pies which come with a jar of Mustard! Great pub.

I used to come here on a Tuesday evening to meet with a couple of fellow bikers for a small refreshment, including one guy I had worked with as a bike courier and who had been at the same set of traffic lights with me in 1996 in Glasgow city centre and so had witnessed at very close quarters the silly bitch in the Renault Clio jumping the red light and knocking me off my bike straight into the Royal Infirmary! Well not exactly straight into A&E, because I decided to lie down for half an hour in the middle of the junction where I'd landed, thus holding up ALL the traffic in Glasgow city centre until the ambulance managed to make its way through. It's surprising how much traffic is in the city centre at 1730hrs on a bank holiday weekend Friday!

Anyway, the Judges. Go there. It's really good. Probably my favourite Glasgow pub.

Huge barn of a place with no atmosphere, of the type that you only really get in England for some reason. Avoid.

Thunderton House, Elgin

Big pub in the centre of Elgin and the main thing I remember is that the burgers they sell are called "Thunderbuns" which always strikes me as an ambiguous name!

Uisge Beatha, 232 Woodlands Road, Glasgow G3 6ND

Former pub of the choir of St Mary's Cathedral. Was always very cold inside for some reason. It's pronounced something like "Oosh Ke Vay", which translates from Gaelic as Water of Life, and is supposedly how the word whisky originated when the pronunciation deteriorated!

You can only become a member to this social club if you are a former (or serving) member of HM Forces, I believe. Years ago, I used to go in sometimes with a colleague and the last time I was there with him I was treated to the edifying sight of him pulling another customer by his lapels over the table (which was full of drink) onto the floor, after something perceived to be offensive was said. To be fair, they were both pissed! I've been in twice since then, both times to the "purvey" after family funerals

. And on a slightly related topic, did you know that in the west of Scotland the film "Four Weddings and a Funeral" was known as "Five Co-Op Purveys"!

Interestingly (or not, perhaps) the club is in Mabel St which is where my mum and dad lived in February 1962 and so was where I was brought home to from the maternity hospital. The house, that is, not the Services Club!

And it's overlooked by a massive tower block in which we used to live when I was in my very early twenties. The photo on the right is of the tower and our flat was on the 13th floor and is in fact just outside the picture because it only shows up to the 12th floor. Oh well. The photo is from the BBC Website in relation to a story about a brutal attack which took place on the 14th floor in 2001 (long after my family moved away). And while I'm on about the tower, my first primary school was just across the road, and I remember a story about some woman who had jumped off one of the balconies to her death while we were in school. When some 20 years later we moved to the tower, it turns out the flat she jumped from was next door to ours. And sometimes at night, we could hear the ghostly ..... no, just kidding again!

A funny little place which if you just came across it by accident you probably wouldn't go near unless you were with someone who knew it and who had reassured you that you wouldn't get stabbed. That's also partly due to the local area though. I rather like it. I've been in a couple of times along with dancers from the Newcastle Kingsmen Rapper team (I have a friend who dances with them) on one of their occasional, and very very enjoyable, visits to Glasgow. I won't explain the concept of Rapper Dancing, go and look at their Website or the Rapper Online one (the link takes you to the Sallyport team page, with whom he also dances), but suffice to say it is nothing to do with black men with stupid names who can't sing or grasp the concept of rhyme, who mistreat their "ho's" and who shoot each other on a regular basis, and it is NOT Morris Dancing, which is for soft southern poofs (or is it pooves?).

The pub is very basic, but serves good Real Ale and has a welcoming staff. And there is apparently regular free live folk music, which is always a good thing.

Way back in the mists of time when I first started working in a plumbers' merchant I used to get a lift to and from work from the assistant manager and more often than not he'd ask me as we were about to leave at 5pm "do you fancy a pint?" to which more often than not (being a VERY poorly paid employee at the time) my answer was "I don't have enough money" and he would always reply "I'm not asking you how much money you have, I was asking if you want to go for a pint" and so we would go and he would pay for it. I suspect it was largely to do with this that I'm of the "what goes around comes around" frame of mind and will happily buy a drink or two for friends who haven't the cash (either at all, or on them at the time) on the basis that they'll do likewise for me or someone else. Anyway, this pub was where we used to go, was just down the road and is ordinary.

Update February 2007: Thanks to Wullie Davidson who emailed me to let me know his opinion that my description of this place as being ordinary was pretty generous. He reckons that in fact it's about as basic as a pub gets, and do you know what? I rather think he's right!

Below is a very badly photomerged image of the view from the front door. Spectacular or what? I could have spent a bit more time seamlessly merging the four images which make this up, but frankly I couldn't be arsed and what's there shows the gist of it anyway!

Looks smart, doesn't it! I have to confess that I've never had a drink in here (and never will), but the story of how the place got its name makes it worthy of inclusion. At the start of the Great War (WW1 that is) the place in Motherwell which was used for volunteers to attend and sign up to be slaughtered like cattle was this pub, and although it had a "proper" name, it was always thereafter known as the War Office.

Update 28th Dec 2006: Thanks to David Burns, born in Motherwell and now living in Virginia USA, for letting me know it was originally called the Milton Arms.

The current building looks like it's made of breeze block and I'd suggest it's highly unlikely to be the actual building where those brave men took the King's shilling, but the story remains.

Quality pub right on the river (hence the name I suppose). Been there for a pint of shandy (literally) while I was waiting for the motorcycle to have a tyre changed in North Harbour Motorcycles just across the water. Sat outside on the terrace in the warm sunshine. Very enjoyable. Went there again in the evening a while later and although we weren't very hungry, we succumbed to ordering a starter each from the menu, just to be sociable you understand. If the starters are anything to go by, the food in the restaurant (or you can obviously eat in the bar) must be terrific.

The sort of place which would definitely be my local if it was local to me (eh?)

Whistler's Mother, 114 Byres Rd, Glasgow

Former regular venue for Glasgow Chamber Choir when we rehearsed in the chapel of the Western Infirmary close by.

This was the venue for a pre-party gathering when a (now former) member of the choir a number of years ago told some of us lads in all seriousness that she was in fact a nymphomaniac and just couldn't have enough sex!

I understand from a well placed and reliable source that this was in fact later proved to be correct.

Found in the shadow of Salisbury's famous cathedral and dating from the 16th century the two cottages that now house The Wig and Quill were originally homes for the cathedral servants. This is where we ended up drinking for the week when the New Inn management proved to be arsy.

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Wilkies Lounge, 1-5 Henderson St, Leith, Edinburgh EH6

I quite like this place. Reasonably good beer. Not bad atmosphere.

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Woodside Bar, Woodside Walk, Gateside St, Hamilton ML3 7JG

Conveniently situated right next door to the Spice of Life takeaway curry/kebab/pizza place which actually does really good food, whenever I was visiting my brother & his wife we'd go in and order a takeaway then nip next door for a quick Guinness while the food was being cooked. Lovely.

It's just an old man's pub though, but good enough for the purpose to which we put it!

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World's End, 4 High St, Edinburgh EH1

Marking the old boundary of the city of Edinburgh, this pub was the last place that two young women, Helen Scott and Christine Eadie, were seen. They were subsequently found murdered on Saturday 15th October 1977.

The enquiry, which is known as the World's End Murders, was still open until recently when Angus Sinclair, the man accused of it, was released after his trial collapsed due to the, frankly, incompetency of the Crown.

Sinclair is currently serving a life sentence for the murder of a 17 year old girl in 1978 and has previous convictions for sexual offences including the sexual assault and strangulation of an 8 year old girl in 1961, and it's clear that he committed these ones too, the DNA evidence showed that, but the Advocate Depute fucked it up and the murderer has now got away with it. Allegedly.

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My Pubs (this is my favourite page!)

Òran Mór, Top of Byres Rd, Glasgow G12 8QX (yes, really, that's how they list their address on their website!).